Apple is denying that Steve Jobs is a ninja who got stopped trying to bring throwing stars onto his plane. That's exactly what you would expect from a ninja, deny, deny, deny.
Steve Jobs = Ninja
- Thread starter Drillbit
- Start date
From The Inquirer (Brit version):
Reasons why Steve Jobs is not a ninja:
1. Ninjas are Japanese, specifically from one of the Iga and Kōga clans. So called American ninjas are usually muscle-bound characters in terrible movies. Jobs is neither Japanese or muscle-bound.
2. Ninjas are invisible and understated. Steve Jobs' number one power is being over the top, aggressively peddling his overpriced toys to the great unwashed.
3. Ninjas do not listen to MP3 players. It is impossible to conduct a raid silently while you are accompanied by a sound like someone rhythmically stomping on a bowl of rice crispies. Also, it is impossible to stick the ear buds under a black hood.
4. Ninjas are poor. Ninjas were recruited from Japanese peasants who used adapted agricultural gear to bump off their targets. Steve Jobs doesn't need the money.
5. Nick Farrell is still alive.
Reasons why Steve Jobs is a ninja:
1. Ninjas were historically secretive and had strict and obsessive secrecy codes that made the Freemasons look like a garrulous men's club.
2. He drives around with a car that cannot be identified and has no licence plate. Rumours are that the car can pour oil on the road and has an ejector seat and machine guns.
3. Ninjas were mostly vegetarian but did have the occasional fish.
4. Ninjas were rumoured to have magical godlike powers over life and death and could change shape at will, while apparently remaining perfectly healthy.
5. Ninjas could pretend that any pain was non-existent and could heal even the most grievous wound with a rubber band.
Reasons why Steve Jobs is not a ninja:
1. Ninjas are Japanese, specifically from one of the Iga and Kōga clans. So called American ninjas are usually muscle-bound characters in terrible movies. Jobs is neither Japanese or muscle-bound.
2. Ninjas are invisible and understated. Steve Jobs' number one power is being over the top, aggressively peddling his overpriced toys to the great unwashed.
3. Ninjas do not listen to MP3 players. It is impossible to conduct a raid silently while you are accompanied by a sound like someone rhythmically stomping on a bowl of rice crispies. Also, it is impossible to stick the ear buds under a black hood.
4. Ninjas are poor. Ninjas were recruited from Japanese peasants who used adapted agricultural gear to bump off their targets. Steve Jobs doesn't need the money.
5. Nick Farrell is still alive.
Reasons why Steve Jobs is a ninja:
1. Ninjas were historically secretive and had strict and obsessive secrecy codes that made the Freemasons look like a garrulous men's club.
2. He drives around with a car that cannot be identified and has no licence plate. Rumours are that the car can pour oil on the road and has an ejector seat and machine guns.
3. Ninjas were mostly vegetarian but did have the occasional fish.
4. Ninjas were rumoured to have magical godlike powers over life and death and could change shape at will, while apparently remaining perfectly healthy.
5. Ninjas could pretend that any pain was non-existent and could heal even the most grievous wound with a rubber band.