Roverlady said:
.... I am not sorry for the parents of this child because, having only read the story, I believe they were not supporting her as best they could...
With all due respect
, and not disagreeing with you
, as a parent, I'd like to share my take on this.
These days, children are confronted with situations that parents have never experienced. It is quite difficult to comprehend since the internet is so "new" and earlier generations have never dealt with such matters.
I remember coming home from the grocery store and walking into the kitchen. My daughter came out from her room, obviously disgruntled. I asked her what was wrong. She told me she was having a fight with ***** (her best freind). Suprised that the two of them would disagree over anything and it being so quiet in the house, I asked... is she in your room??
My daughter replied no... which momentarily confused me... because I could tell that whatever was happening was in process. I asked where she was. My daughter replied... on the internet.
Knock me over with a feather, I was absolutely dumbfounded and slightly amused. I asked her...
how in the world can you have a fight with someone on the internet? They quickly made up and all was well... but, I still did not "get it".
At least not until I started posting here. Now I know how someone can fight with someone else on the internet and how upsetting it can be for the participants.
In retrospect, I count myself as very blessed that we never had any serious problems. Because I did not understand the internet and how things worked, there is no way I can say for certain that I would have been able to stop something terrible. Mind you, I was a very actively involved parent in all facets of my daughter's life while she was still at home, but I really was "clueless" when it came to the internet.
When the "teens" come around, it is increasingly difficult to monitor what is happening and everything that they are doing. At that age, healthy teens begin to assert their independence and pull away from their parents. You can monitor what you can "see", but the internet is often "invisible".
One thing that I was adamant about... and my daughter did not like it... but, she complied... I insisted on having a list of EVERYONE and ANYONE she communicated with on the internet. That list had to contain the person's real name, their screen name, their address, and their phone number. The way I persuaded my daughter to be honest and cooperate in this list was to honestly ask her... what if you disappeared some day... then the police came to help find you... and they asked me who were your friends and who were you communicating with???... What am I going to say??? I don't know???
I told her that I would be a bad parent if I could not supply that information in an emergency.
That took the monkey off of her back (didn't imply that I did not trust her) and put it on mine (it is my responsibility to be a responsible parent... I am a bad parent if I don't do this).
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It is weird how quicky things are changing these days, even for college kids.
Interesting fact:
Prior to the VA Tech shootings, colleges and universities did not have "their own" Emergency Management Departments and Emergency Managers. Post VA Tech, most universities are adding them, hiring full Time Emergency Managers, putting big money behind them, creating Emergency Operations Plans, and running Full Scale Tactical Exercises.
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Just my 2 cents.
